I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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