Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
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