Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I want to make a zoo with you.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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