I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Are we still banned from the library?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
