i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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