Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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