She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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