You really coming over, don't trick.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
