I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
