I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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