Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
