I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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