A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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