absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I deserve this hangover.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
