so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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