If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
