your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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