you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
