didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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