We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
