A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
