So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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