you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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