Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
