I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
