stop calling my apartment porn island.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
A bitchslap is in order.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
