I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
