Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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