why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
