quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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