My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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