idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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