i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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