i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
50% drunk capacity currently
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
