Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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