I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
