Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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