I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
