I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
