p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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