Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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