I think I am morally bankrupt
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
