Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
