They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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