Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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