i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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