the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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