I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
