If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
