Apparently you make a good broom.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
